News You Can Use

The Upside of Anger

YOUTH ED VISION EXPANDS

CHAPLAIN REWARDS

“STRAY CAT STRUT”

GUARDIAN AD LITEM

I HAVE NOTICED THAT LIFE IS BEST AT THOSE TIMES WHEN I HAVE CHALLENGES. My most fondly remembered and valuable experiences also had some kind of significant challenges associated with them.

Why is that? Because it is our very nature to overcome challenges. You are equipped to thrive on the challenges. In fact, ever since the moment you were born you have been successfully dealing with challenges ranging from staying alive to choosing a career to improving your environment and the world around you.

Imagine for a moment what it would be like to have no challenges at all. There would be no decisions to be made, no problems to be solved, no physical effort or exertion necessary, nothing new to be learned, no relationships to nurture. And there would be nothing to accomplish, no way to achieve a genuine sense of satisfaction, no means by which you could grow stronger.

Making life meaningful is not a matter of completely freeing yourself from the challenges, for that would render life virtually meaningless. In fact, it is just the opposite. We must constantly move toward more and more meaningful and valuable challenges. By so doing, we are fulfilling the best of our possibilities.

The more willing you are to take on challenges, the richer your life will be. The more challenges you have, the more you learn, and the more you grow. Challenge can inspire creativity in you. It motivates you to get started and to keep going. Challenge can make you strong and gives you the confidence to attempt great things.

And YES, challenge can often be frustrating, yet in that frustration is the seed of a powerful degree of motivation. The worse you feel, the more willing you are to do something about it. Challenges motivate us to move forward. A key part of thriving on challenge is to know why the challenge is meaningful to you, and to keep yourself focused on that reason, that purpose, as you undertake the difficult effort necessary to deal with the challenge

But, there is something that we must remember, even in the midst of our most challenging situations. On a regular basis, take a break, get some rest, and recharge your batteries before continuing. You will be far more creative. Life is a cycle of effort and rest. The effectiveness of each depends on the other. You cannot cheat this cycle. Sleep all night and day and you'll feel awful. Work all day and night and you'll be worthless the next day. Work with focus, determination and discipline, then regularly stop along the way to rest and relax.

Give yourself the opportunity to contemplate who you are and the meaning of your life. Enjoy each moment and give thanks often. A real break is the sustained experience of letting your guard down and just being, whether it is on the golf course, the lake, an art museum or anywhere you choose to be. Do it regularly and everything else you do will become so much more effective. You'll find that you're much better equipped to thrive on the challenges that come your way.

And now, I am going to take my own advice......

Rich and Abundant Blessing,
Allen Moss

DID YOU SEE THIS MOVIE, THE UPSIDE OF ANGER? I really enjoyed the spiritual message of the main character. It was difficult to witness her outbursts of anger and the toll it took on her family. It was equally rewarding to see her realize the truth about her anger. It’s a great movie so I won’t spoil the plot for you. You may want to rent it, if you haven’t seen it.

During our Real Love series we examined the idea that anger is always wrong. Certainly expressing our anger in destructive ways is not the most positive course of action, however, a close look at our anger and the cause of our anger can be positive. We can use our anger as a warning signal that something is not right in our lives. Anger represents some underlying pain or suffering such as hurt, jealousy, stress or being offended.

On the positive upside of anger, it can tell us where we are not feeling worthy and whole and what we need to heal. If we trace our anger to its root cause, it will point the direction to healing. I have found it most helpful to work with anger as it comes up for me, rather than ignoring it and hoping it will go away.

Recently, I had an experience that at first shocked me and then left me feeling very angry. I was in a place that is normally “safe” to share deeply from my heart, similar to our home study groups. I shared an experience that had touched me and helped me to grieve my Mother’s recent death. Normally, with this type of sharing, there is no feedback from other members of the group. Someone approached me after the meeting and made strong suggestions about things I should do and even suggested that I not spend any time with seniors. I was shocked because feedback in this setting is not acceptable. I simply said I would consider the suggestion. Later, I was just plain angry and felt violated by the unsolicited advice.

As I really looked at my anger and its meaning, here is what I realized. I had accepted feedback I did not request or want from someone I had put their feelings before my own leaving me feeling diminished. I could have very easily said “Thank you for sharing but I do not want feedback.” I could have also used compassionate language such as “When I hear you giving me advice I have not requested, I feel troubled because I need to know that I can share from my heart without anyone trying to fix me. I would like to request that you not give any feedback unless it’s requested.” This would have been a compassionate response to them and for me.

We all have a deep need to be heard, to know that we can share from our hearts without any advice, suggestions or feedback. One of the kindest, most compassionate things we can do for one another is to know that we each have within us all we need to meet our own challenges.

This is why we have shared agreements in our home study groups; so that we can each share openly from our hearts and not have others offer advice or try to fix us. No one has our truth but ourselves and God within each of us. I hold this sacred and this recent experience as a good reminder of how it feels to receive unwanted advice. I am grateful for safe places and for lessons learned even though the experience was uncomfortable. I will also be more diligent about not offering unsolicited advice myself.

Love & Blessings,
Rev. Debbie

EXCITING NEW THINGS ARE TAKING PLACE IN THE YOUTH EDUCATION WING OF TAMPA UNITY. This year’s Sunday School curriculum will include Celebrating Your God-Self; What a Wonderful World; Uni-teens Self -Images and a lot more. Please come by and meet the new teachers.

A very "Special Thanks" with all our Love and Blessings go out to Ruth Wallace, Trish Sandag and Brian England for their love and dedication that they gave to our Children. These three dedicated individuals have taught the children in our Sunday program for many years past.

New teachers include Maureen McCarthy, Carolyn Deese, and Jerry Rhode. They will teach the 5-7 year old group. Carolyn is a Social worker and Meals on Wheels Volunteer who saw a need and knew she had to help. Jerry is a professor at USF and a National Guardsman. Maureen has a 5 year old daughter, Sarah, who attends the Sunday School.

Returning teacher, Sharon Hall is joined by Ann Marie Huggins for the 8-10 year olds. Anne Marie is a technical writer and nutritional consultant who felt a strong, divine calling to be a part of the Youth Education team at Tampa Unity.

Former Board of Trustees Vice President and Tampa Police Officer Brenda Hunt has teamed up with Carol Ann Ferguson to create a new and exciting program for the Uniteens.

The new face in our nursery is Claire Chilsom. Claire loves children and is eager to care for infants and toddlers while their parents attend Sunday Services. The nursery is open from 8:30 am until directly following the 11 am Service. Children should be picked up promptly!

In November, we will be auditioning for the Christmas Play, which will take place on during the 11 am Sunday Service on December 18th. This is an exciting time for the Youth Ed Department when the children are able to share their talents with the congregation. It is also a great time for parents to volunteer and have fun with the children. Be sure and watch your Sunday Bulletin for try out times and more information on the Christmas Play.

If you are looking for a place where you get to explore your child-self. "Come Grow with Us" - Volunteer and become a Teacher !

Love & Blessings,
Jean Wynne

IN EVERY PERSON’S LIFE there comes at least one moment when something happens that transforms the course of their life forever. For me, it was over four years ago when I took Rev. Lei Lonni Burt’s Chaplain Program Training. New doors have been opening ever since! I went on to help create a Chaplain Progam for Unity of Vero Beach and become their Head Chaplain. I now live here in Tampa with my daughter and am looking forward to my second year as Tampa Unity’s Chaplain Coordinator.

Are you ready for the next step in your spiritual growth? Have you considered becoming a Chaplain? Service to others provides a fast track opportunity for your own spiritual development. I have found that being a Chaplain is one of the most rewarding and uplifting experiences available.

This past year our Chaplains made 2100 wellness calls and offered over 50 in-service prayers. If you were one of those who received our prayers, then you know the value of the Chaplain Program.

Looking ahead to 2006 I know that Spirit is calling the ideal people to serve as Chaplains. Some will be returning from last year, but many will be new. I hope you will take the time to be still and seek the answer within your own heart. IS GOD CALLING YOU TO BE A CHAPLAIN?

This is not a decision to make lightly, as it takes dedication and commitment of the highest form. I will promise you this, however, that for anyone who feels the calling, Spirt will give you everything you need to see it through. And more than that, as you pray for others, you will be transformed in depth.

I now invite you to read the requirements listed in the new Chaplain brochure, which is available in the bookstore, look at the Training Schedule and ask for guidance. If you feel this may be something you would enjoy, then join us in the Sanctuary on January 15 from 2 to 3 pm. If you have any questions, you may ask me or Rev. Debbie.

God Bless You!
Mary Riley

IN OUR FALL PROGRAM, WE HAVE EXPLORED THE PRINCIPLES OF DR. GREG BAER IN HIS BOOK, REAL LOVE. We are now ready to move to our next phase, which is the creation of Wise Men and Wise Women groups. Because many people feel more comfortable and open with members of the same sex, the groups are divided into men and women. The groups will be facilitated by Rev. Allen and Rev. Debbie, respectively.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” Proverbs 29:18

The purpose of the Wise Groups is to have a place where individuals can be honest about themselves and be accepted with real unconditional love. In order to stay focused and accomplish our goal of giving and receiving unconditional love, the groups will follow the tried and true shared agreements used in our home study groups. Those in the groups will agree to abide by the conditions of Confidentiality, Compassion, Truth, Respect, Resolution of Conflict within the group process, and Participation. All of these conditions will be explained in depth at an organizational meeting on November 13.

Why are the shared agreements important and why do we need a vision for the Wise groups? To create a safe environment where participants can share openly and honestly about themselves and receive no feedback or unsolicited advice unless requested. There is an incredible need for people to be heard and accepted and not have anyone attempt to “fix” them or their problems.

“The need to be really seen is as great as the need for food and shelter, yet most of us go through life starving for reflection. We all need to be seen with eyes filled with love, acceptance and adoration. There is a terrible loneliness and alienation when we feel no one sees, hears or understands us. This loneliness lingers in circles unless the quality of witnessing is present.

Sometimes, as part of witnessing, people go through a stage in which they seem to know what they are feeling and they take the certainty that affords them and assume they know what others are feeling. This is not witnessing. For instance, sometimes when people feel afraid of another’s pain they will immediately reach out to hug or stroke them, which stops the process, or they will come up with a solution to the other person’s dilemma or discount the other’s feeling by saying it’s not really so bad. All these are the reaction of someone who is afraid of his or her own pain, of someone who is not being in circle.” Being In Circle: The Authentic Self and the Witness, Angeles Arrien.

Following this vision in our Wise Groups we will create the safety and comfort necessary for participants to share openly and honestly and grow spiritually.

This is our vision for the groups. If you are interested in participating, please attend a short meeting following the 11:00 Sunday Service in the Margaret Giles room on November 20 @ 12:30. The meeting will provide more details about the vision and group process and establish if there is enough interest to start the Wise Groups.

Debbie Moss

EARLY IN THE MORNING, FERAL CATS PROWL THE TAMPA UNITY PARKING LOT as if it were part of their personal urban jungle. A temporary lake has formed in a low spot after the rain. The grey tabby stalks its prey, a large black and white tom cat, who is basking at the water’s edge. Another tabby sits serenely by the dumpster, her tail hooked about her feet.

I like having cats around. I marvel at their quiet concentration and sure footed prowling. I know they are predators, let the lizards and squirrels beware! But, I have not noticed a diminishment in the number of small wildlife teeming about the grounds. These cats are well fed, and although “homeless” they are healthy.

They have been trapped by a feral cat organization, vaccinated and neutered. Volunteers feed them in the rear of the parking area. Feral cats are domesticated cats that have abandoned and become partially wild again. Their litters will have even less human contact to keep them tame. Feral cat protection groups trap these half wild cats and neuter them before releasing them. In this way, the cycle is stopped. The cats are free to live out their lives, but will not produce unwanted offspring.

Cats have long been revered as spiritual beings. Perhaps it is their inscrutable eyes or their unwavering calm and patience that captures the attention of human imagination. I enjoy seeing them engaged in a nap under the Porter Weed, or lying in the sun on a courtyard bench. They add a certain quiet ambiance to the landscape.

Sometimes it seems like animals, both wild and domestic, have been forgotten in city planning. Their appearance is an after thought. But, picture a world without our animal friends, without butterflies flitting and birds twittering. No roly-poly puppies to come home to or cozy cats to warm your lap. Even the pet-less can appreciate that this would be a cold, dull world. Brighten your life; provide a habitat in your home and in your heart.

Janet Stanley

THERE’S NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT TO GET INVOLVED WITH THE GUARDIAN AD LITEM (GAL) PROGRAM and speak on behalf of an abused or neglected child. Guardians ad Litem are trained volunteers who stand up for the rights of children who find themselves being shuffled through the child welfare system. In Hillsborough County alone there are thousands of children waiting for their voices to be heard. These are the children you hear about all too often in the news: children whose parents have allegedly beaten or abandoned them and subjected them to pain no human should suffer.

This year resolve to join the more than 300 proud GAL volunteers in Hillsborough County who are out there protecting our children’s best interests in court.

GAL volunteers work hard to see that children don’t slip through the cracks of an overburdened child welfare system. GAL volunteers come from all walks of life: real estate agents, teachers, retirees, stay- at-home moms, and those people who just can’t sit back and complain anymore about the injustices of “the system”. All of our volunteers decided that the time had come to step forward to help the children who have no one else to count on. They are the people who wanted to see the faces of the children in need, not just statistics. They resolved to improve a child’s life, and, in doing so, discovered that they had also improved their own

You, too, can help these children who have suffered at the hands of those who are supposed to care for them. Becoming a Guardian ad Litem is simple: after 30 hours of hands-on training, along with lots of support and encouragement from the Guardian ad Litem staff, you will be ready to meet that child whose life you will change for the better. Please consider becoming a GAL today! For more information, call (813) 272-5110 or email:Tami.Dodd@gal.fl.gov

Or attend a meeting on Sunday, Nov. 13 at 1 pm in the Margaret Giles Room.

The next training session begins January 10, 2006.

Rebecca Johnson